One of the major drawbacks of the international jet set lifestyle is the time wasted in those appalling queues stuck among the paupers waiting on their visas. If you are a hard working property developer, international footballer or oligarch you don’t need that sort of bother.

New Labour is on the case. All that time that Peter Mandelson has spent with millionaires and billionaires has not been wasted. He has felt their pain. For the price of a couple of decent bottles of champagne you can now get a premium visa renewal service. That’s £15 000 well spent in anyone’s book. As you’d expect at those prices the hired help comes to you. The UK Border Agency will visit applicants for British visas at their office or home. They sort out the paperwork, take a biometric photograph and give an on the spot result. Goodbye to the agony of suspense.

As well as making life easier for the super rich immigration minister Phil Woolas is also making it a lot tougher for less well off immigrants and visitors to Britain. Anyone looking to bring over a parent will have to pay £1900 from April, nearly double the current price. Alongside the innovation of home visits for rich folk they are introducing a 10% charge for visitors’ children, presumably to make the children feel that they are real stakeholders in the trip.

Woolas is not deceived by all those bleeding heart accounts of migrant workers being hyper exploited. The Guardian reports:

“The basic cost of a visa for migrants applying to settle in the UK will increase from £585 to £644. For those already in Britain, the cost of applying for indefinite leave to remain will rise from £820 to £840, and for applying to become a British citizen will increase from £640 to £655.”

You’d nearly think Labour was trying to cover its right flank just before an election.