o2 There was a fitfully funny Belfast comedian called James Young who used to release LPs parodying the politics of the north of Ireland. During the 1970s one of his routines was based on the Norn Iron Tourist Board trying to market the place as a holiday destination. His influence lives on and not just among those comedians who think anything said in a strong Belfast accent is pure comic gold.

The following comes from the helpful hints section of Belfast City Council’s brochure for this year’s Orangefest:

“Please don’t walk through the procession whilst it’s in progress. If you would like to cross through just ask a marshall who’d be happy to advise when it’s safe to do so.”

I tried this once many years ago and it was the only time in my life I’d ever been relieved to have the RUC close to hand. There is no greater insult to the dignity of Orangefest than trying to get from one side of the road to the other when the brethren are marching down it and they preserve its majesty by pummelling anyone insouciant enough to try. That’s the sort of minor detail that’s going to stop it becoming a serious competitor to the Notting Hill or Rio carnivals. There are many others.

o1 Belfast council is gamely carrying on with its project of trying to rebrand the event. Not even Jimmy Young would have thought of the “shopping and processions angle”, maybe because at the time the Provies were trying to make the city centre a retail free zone. No one has ever, ever, ever associated the 12th of July with shopping. Fenians try either to stop it coming anywhere near their streets or flee the area; lots of Protestants are quietly embarrassed and the participants are either too drunk or too sanctimonious to go in sponsors of the event like the decidedly Romish sounding  L’Occitane en Provence. In any case they are probably baffled by the claim that “ Our products are a true art de vivre devoted to your well-being. We bring together nature and research, following the principles of phytotherapy.” (Note to Mrs Mac – don’t buy anymore of their stuff for me. If they are offering 50% discounts for Orangefest they’ve lost my custom.)

For anyone who won’t be able to drop into the Castle Court Centre after a relaxing day of no popery, super strength lager and Lambeg drums Professor Mc Williams has produced a handy guide for how fur til have a glorious Twelfth when yer nat at it.

7 responses to “Orangefest 2010”

  1. This 12th I’ll be celebrating Neruda’s 106th birthday. What was that line of his?

    “When I got the chance
    I asked them a slew of questions.
    They offered to burn me;
    it was the only thing they knew.”
    — Pablo Neruda

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  2. Comedy gold: When ye pass folk raise yer umberella an’ say “Bout ye, grawn day fur it”. If anybody tries til walk across yer path stap them wi’ yer umberella an’ say “Dinnae walk across the parade, ye boy ye.”

    Was working a lonely shift at the Odyssey and got to see East and North Belfast ablaze for the first time last night before fleeing down the motorway. I’ve just spent the wee small hours watching the riot on CCTV! http://www.trafficwatchni.com/sections/camupdater.asp?cam=4&name=Broadway***

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  3. “Gone are the days when, as a previous columnist to this paper once recalled, Orangemen in East Belfast could march into his home — the only Catholic one in the street — on the Eleventh night, stomp upstairs, pee in the bath, and troop back out again. In their place has come a new era where Orangemen can only march if they ask permission from a Parades Commission which has already banned them from their favourite hunting grounds on the Ormeau Road and in Drumcree. And there’s even better to come when the Commission is replaced by a body on which Sinn Féin will have direct appointees. Are there any heroes in this fest? Yes, the community activists standing under brollies at the Broadway interface on Saturday night ensuring there would be no repetition of the drunken rioting which had rocked the area the previous weekend. And the republicans who will rise early this morning (Monday) to ensure the yesterday’s men striding pompously past Ardoyne do not spark a violent reaction from the type of headbangers who think looting a KFC is a blow for Mother Ireland” http://apublishersblog.blogspot.com/2010/07/who-put-fest-in-orangefest.html

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  4. The riots in Ardoyne seem to be significant. In previous years the Adams wing of Republicanism has helped police them and this year they have decided that they won’t or can’t.

    Rioting in Ballymurphy was how Adams built up the early IRA cadre in West Belfast and Ardoyne seems to be a low budget version of the same thing but without the backdrop of a mass movement against the state. However it’s evident that some of the unreconstructed Republicans have connected with a layer of working class youth in Belfast just at the moment where the flow of minimum wage and zero hours contract jobs is starting to dry up. The shame of the thing is that they have nothing to offer but a low rent version of 1972-92.

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  5. Well it also opens up how Adams crowd are now positioning themselves with regard to P+J. The ‘justice’ money has been ring-fenced over and above the health spend. This kind of action will only further re-militarise the place. The level of violence and the tactics used are interesting given that a lot of those orchestrating the lumpenised youth were ‘bussed in’; a hijacked bus was left outside Woodbourne station and I mentioned before about hijacked cars being burned out when the water cannon was used in Broadway and again last night I was unfortunate to come across more of the same at the junction with Northumberland St. on the Lower Falls.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/10613484.stm

    The above statement by the BMG’s Máirtín O’Millionaire, who was recently appointed by the SF Minister for Regional Development to the body which will be implementing water charges along with the head of NIC-ICTU, where he states that there is ‘better to come when the [Parades] Commission is replaced by a body on which Sinn Féin will have direct appointees’ he fails to recognise that that Bill was ditched by the OO despite McCausland being one of the 3 DUP MLAs responsible for drawing it up. The Shinners have faced a backlash as well with Gildernew, Kelly and O’Dowd scared to stand over it. The consultation ends tomorrow so it will be interesting to see what comes along after.

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  6. A flavour of the Stoops PR machine rolling into action:

    Conall McDevitt Will be part of @SDLPlive team meeting Chief Con tomorrow. This isn’t just policing issue. Politics need to step up and show leadership. about an hour ago via Twitter

    Malachy Quinn Just when you think the country will move on, along comes the 12th to show that very little has changed. I seen pictures of youths (not even old enough to remember the end of the troubles) throwing petrol bombs and attacking the police. Sectarianism is being passed on with people doing very little to stop it, or unwilling to stand up and stop it! In any other country in the world people would get voted in by stopping sectarianism and standing up against it, here you get votes for keeping it going. really pathetic! Least the SDLP is trying.

    p.s. cheers for buying the tea back in Stormont! did get a chance to say thank u Conall!
    40 minutes ago

    Peter Morris The riots over the last few days are not defendable. Deliberate acts of attempted murder against Police Officers, attempts to burn a cross border train!! Just what do these people think they are acheiving. Where petrol bombs are being thrown then is an immediate danger to persons life and Police should deal with accordingly with lethal force. Parents should discourage their children from becoming involved.
    31 minutes ago

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  7. Information on the Stop the Public Assemblies Campaign
    1. The “Stop the Public Assemblies Bill” Campaign was set up in April 2010 as a direct result of the proposed legislation outlined in the Draft Public Assemblies Parades and Protests (NI) Bill. In particular the campaign was set up to oppose the introduction of the legislation for reasons that will be outlined in this submission.

    The Campaign was formally launched at a meeting of approximately 150 people at the Holiday Inn Belfast on 13th May 2010.

    The Campaign is a coalition of trade unionists, community activists, civil & human rights campaigners, anti poverty campaigners and individuals from across Northern Ireland.

    Since its launch two months ago the Campaign has organised a number of meetings across NI. A Facebook Group has over 5000 members signed up to the Campaign. Regular city centre stalls have been held and the campaign has canvassed a wide range of opinions from a broad spectrum of the Northern Ireland population. This submission is based on the opinions of those involved in the campaign and the opinions of those who were canvassed.

    General implications of the proposed legislation
    2. The draft legislation proposes measures that will affect the general right of Assembly in NI. It will affect the rights of every single person to organise themselves collectively in groups of over 50 people. The Campaign notes that this will impact on people’s ability to organise events such as social and sporting functions. We are opposed to measures that curtail the spontaneity of any group from being able to organise on a collective basis.

    However, the area that is of most concern to the Campaign is that it will curtail the ability of people to organise collectively as workers, trade unionists, community campaigners and political activists. The Campaign believes that this would have a hugely detrimental effect on NI society as a whole and would be a severe infringement of our human rights and civil liberties.

    Currently, the only other prior notification restriction on the right to assemble anywhere in the UK is contained in the Serious Organized Crime and Police Act 2005, which imposes prior notification of an assembly within the vicinity of the Parliament Buildings in London.

    Liberty, one of the UK’s leading civil liberties and human rights organizations says of the restriction:-

    “the blanket requirement of notification at least 6 days in advance for demonstrations in the vicinity of Parliament unduly restricts spontaneous protest: a category of protest that should be at the very heart of any authentic democracy. If freedom of expression is to be meaningful in any sense it cannot be controlled or managed to such an extent as to effectively undermine its impact”.

    In the case of assemblies near Parliament, organizers must give six working days notice. If they give six days notice then permission for the assembly MUST be granted but it can be subject to restriction. In the case of the NI Public Assemblies Bill, organizers must give 37 working days notice of any assembly where there is likely to be 50 or more people in attendance. Permission does not have to be granted.

    The Campaign therefore submits that the draft legislation entirely removes the right to assemble for everyone in NI and replaces it with a privilege that can be granted or withheld according to the decision of the NI state and their appointed agents.

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